The Final Farewell

It was really important to me to be home when our trucks were removed and taken away.  I'm not sure why but I think it had something to do with not really being ready to move on to a new vehicle. 

For most people, when you buy a new car its because you have used your old one up - it's worn out, broken down, and you're ready.  Or, it doesn't suit your needs any more - again, you're ready for something else.  That wasn't true with either of our trucks.  So, it felt like something was taken away from us when we weren't ready to give them up. 

 

We didn't really know when the salvage company would show up to haul them away so I ran home on my lunch hoping that they would come while I was there.  As luck would have it, the guy was there with our trucks already loaded on a flatbed.  He was just cleaning up the mess that was made from dragging them up there. 

So I asked him if they take scrapmetal too - I had a few things left over from the demolition that we needed to get rid of.  He said no and explained that the trucks were going to auction.

To auction??

Who in their right mind would want these things?  There is nothing left of them and they are full of broken glass, melted plastic, and metal! 

The guy then explained that people will pay big bucks for these trucks, especially Mike's new F-150.  They still had VIN numbers and titles - and people buy them to pull the VIN off them and put it on a stolen vehicle.  Viola!  They have a clean title!

I stood there in shock.  People really do this?  I'm actually doing business with someone that specializes in this sort of thing?

I was dumbfounded.  I still am in shock about our misfortune leading to a shady character's gain.    

The demolition

 We hadn't planned to demo the garage ourselves.  We always thought that we would have our contactor take care of it. 

The day after the fire investigation, we started getting calls from a salvage company about picking up the remains of our trucks.  It was Friday and they wanted them the following Monday.  I didn't think it was a big deal, I thought  they would just hook them to a winch and drag them out - not worrying about the roof that was resting on them.

 

It turns out this was not the case.  The salvage company was not equipped to remove any debris.  They had to be completely free of debris in order to remove them.

This put us in a tough spot - how do we get all of that out of there in just a few short days???

With sheer pissed off determinatin, beer, and a few good friends! 

Chad and Jodi quickly volunteered to come down on Saturday and help us get stuff out of there.  I had a roll-off dumpster dropped off on Friday afternoon.  On Saturday, we put on old clothes, bought a couple cases of beer, left the kids to their own devices in the house (four kids ages 5,3 and 2....what could possibly go wrong????) and we got to work!

We few tools - a couple of shovels, a bunch of homer buckets, a few hammers and an ax.  We went all Amish on the what remained of our garage!

Our initial plan was just to get the roof off the trucks and clean up the debris that had fallen in to our neighbor's yard.  That was it.  The roof proved very difficult to remove and break up - so we just started tearing in to things.  Before we knew it, we had taken down a wall - and then the supports that had been put in after the fire - and we hauled stuff out of the garage - we took pictures and wrote down items that we had forgotten to list. 

The work was hard, back breaking and emotional.  But it was therapeutic work too.  We looked for missing belongings, confirmed that some things were indeed in there and lost, and spent a few minutes just looking at our old trucks and the piles of debris that were inside them.  We were able to take out some aggression by swinging sledge hammers, axes and even saws at the debris.  Not only was it a day of work for us, but it was the first giant step in moving on.

The kids did pretty well - they mostly entertained themselves and we only had to holler at them a little bit!  Our nieghbor girl, Julia, came over to watch them for a few hours too - and that helped a lot!!  Madison became our official beer runner.  It wasn't long before she was hollering "Mom, that case that you just bought is almost empty - you guys are drinking it all!!!!!"  We all had to laugh.  We were working hard and nothing goes better with hard work than an ice cold beer!

As the day wore on, we were making real progress.  By dinner time, we had removed everything with the exception of one wall and the two trucks.  The roll off was full with an extimated TEN TONS of debris and we still had a few piles of stuff to throw out.  We were exhausted. 

While we showered up, had dinner, and relaxed a bit on the deck - we marvelled at how much we had accopmlished that day.  We had demo'd far more than we expected to get done.  We felt good about having achieved so much - but we felt even better that we were taking our recovery in to our own hands.

A few days later, Mike's parents came over to help us with that last wall and to load up the last few piles of stuff into a new rolloff dumpster.

The Investigation

When the RFD fired investigator said that the fire originated in the engine of our new F-150, our insurance company tried to get an investigation started. The trouble with this plan was that it was soooo cold during January and so much water was used in attempts to put out the fire that everything was one frozen solid block of ice. They couldn't determine anything in those conditions.

They gave us a choice: Wait and investigate when it warms up or just move on with life.

We chose to wait and investigate. We didn't do this for monetary gain - we stood to gain very little from a product liability lawsuit - we would maybe get our deductibles back as a result. We wanted to investigate further in an effort to earn back the deductibles that our neighbors had to pay to their insurance companies for the damage to their homes. We also wanted to try to determine a cause so that whatever was wrong could be fixed. So nobody else would have to go through all of this.

Waiting was not an easy road. We got to look at the burned out shell of our garage every day. Thankfully they boarded up the front of the garage and covered the whole thing with a tarp - so we didn't have to see the remains of our trucks and other belongings everyday. There were the minor little annoyances too.  Since we have a single car driveway, we were constantly moving vehicles around so whomever got home first could get their car out. We had to scrape windows nearly every day. We didn't have anywhere to store anything - so our bathtub became a tool chest. The dog kennel under the deck and a blue tarp became a place to store the kid's new bikes once the weather warmed up. Our family room has become a catch-all room for the things we would normally store in the garage like Christmas decorations and Cam's old crib.

We also couldn't turn in our final list of items lost - because we couldn't go through the rubble to see if we had forgotten anything. As of right now, we have yet to see a dime from our insurance company for the more than $30,000 in personal belongings that were lost.

The investigation was scheduled for April 7 and it proved to be a nice warm day. We both took the day off from work to be available to the investigators. There were a total of 6 investigators at our house that day. There was the State Farm guy, the independent investigator, the guy from Ford, two guys from Brinx (they manufactured the timers that our trucks were plugged in to) and a guy from the manufacturer of the block heaters that Ford uses. Everyone was from MN and hired by the separate entities except for the guy from Ford. Apparently, they are busy enough with fire investigations to hire their own guy on full time!

They started by questioning Mike and I together as a group. We went through the timeline of events from that day and also went through diagrams of where things were in the garage and where we had items that were plugged in to outlets. Then the investigators opened up the garage.

After three months, old wounds were reopened. It was hard to see the shells of our trucks again and some of our belongings - definetely harder than I was anticipating.

They each walked through the garage on their own and took photographs. They didn't touch anything, just looked. Once everyone had achance to take a look and take photos, they went in as a group and started to rule things out.

Let me tell you - these guys have been around burned down buildings enough to have no fear! They were standing on top of the roof of the garage that was lying on top of our trucks and didn't seem bothered by it in the least! I didn't even like walking within ten feet of what remained, there was no way you would get me to climb up on that pile of rubble!

They spent a lot of time on Mike's truck - as we suspected. I could see them focus on the engine compartment - and then move to the wall where the timer had been plugged in. I could tell they were looking for remains of the timer (and they even found some!)

Not a lot was happening - but we couldn't take our eyes off of it either. We tried to work on a few house projects but little was accomplished.

At some point after lunch I noticed they had moved on to my Explorer. They were REALLY focusing on it. Far more than I expected they would focus on it. As time wore on, I started to wonder what they were discovering.

Around 2pm they called us back out for more questioning. The guy from Ford lead the questioning.
**How long have you had this Explorer? (we bought it new in 2004)
**Had any recalls on it? (only something for the rear diffential fluid, nothing major)
**Had any problems with it? (there was that time it drove itself out of the driveway at daycare and hit a parked car, aside from that it was the best vehicle we have ever owned...)

**Did it have cruise control (yep and we were aware that Ford had issues with cruise and fires - but our truck was never recalled for it)

Then they said that was all and we were allowed to go back in the house. They started wrapping things up a short while later.

Once everyone had left the investigator from State Farm came in to give us the findings. They were not what we were expecting at all.

They had ruled everything out. The block heater in Mike's truck did not cause the fire. The timers did not cause the fire. They couldn't tell if anything else in Mike's truck could have caused it because it was so heavily damaged. They also could not rule out the extension cord that the Explorer had been plugged in to.

What they think happened is that the extension cord on the Explorer arked for some reason. (they said it showed signs of arking - it just looked burned to me, like everything else!) It was strung over the rafters in the garage so that I would see it each morning - it was my reminder so I wouldn't back out of the garage with the truck still plugged in! They think it arked up in the rafters and something caught fire and immediately spread through the roof to the area over Mike's truck - where the roof then collapsed and made it look like the truck was the point of origin.

While this is the theory, the official results of the investigation were inconclusive. It felt like a punch in the gut. We had waited all this time - and the result was nothing like we had expected. It kind of sent us back on the emotional rollercoaster that we rode in the few weeks immediately following the fire. After a few days though, we realized that we couldn't do anything about it. We had tried and that was all that mattered.

Immediately after they left that day, we were cleared to demo the garage. Stay tuned for the demolition process....

Roll On Roll On Rollercoaster

Despite feeling like we are in a time warp for a few months, time continues to march on.  The roller coaster of life doesn't stop and all you can do is hold on and hope for the best!  It is a tough pill to swallow when you don't feel the same anymore. 

So where are we right now?

Physically:  The vehicles have been replaced and things have felt a lot better since we  accomplished that goal.  The garage has been torn down and we are awaiting word on whether or not our cement slab was damaged in the fire.  It looks ok - but we aren't sure if the intense heat will cause it to crumble in the future. Also, it is very stained from soot and it smells terrible. We are hoping that the slab is ok and that we will be able to pressure wash the stains on and most of all, get the smell out so our new garage doesn't smell like a burned down garage.

Emotionally:  Recovering emotionally has had its ups and downs!  It gets a little easier as time goes, especially after we got the old garage torn down a few weeks ago. All of us have dealt with it in our own way.  Madison had some nightmares for a few weeks.  And continues to worry about the house burning down on a daily basis.  Her biggest concern is that Windsor, our little dog, wouldn't get out of the house if it started on fire when we aren't home.  We have seen some improvement in her anxiety about this since the garage was torn down.  Mike had some nightmares and general worry - but they didn't affect him until a few weeks after.  I have fear and worry that continues but is also easing as time goes on.  It is interesting how something like this can affect you.  I never used to worry about plugging my crockpot in or running the dryer while I was gone.  Now I think about what could happen every single time I plug anything in.

I worry about my "stuff."  I worry that something will happen to my car or my house and I'll have to file yet another insurance claim.  For the record, I have paid deductibles on my house and both cars all at once, two times in the past two and a half  years.  I don't think that happens to most people once in a lifetime - let alone twice!  We had hail almost three years ago that caused damage to everything and we paid all three deducitibles.  And then this happens.  I am honestly afraid to even call my insurance company because they must groan every time they see my name on their screen!  Every time I find a letter from State Farm in my mailbox, my heart stops and I wonder if this will be the letter where our rates for through the roof or where they drop us or raise our rates beyond the point of being affordable.

For a long time, I felt a lot of guilt for worrying about my stuff so much. It's just stuff right?  I often wonder if we are simply not meant to have anything but the basic necessities.  Because everything that we worked hard for and bought simply because we wanted it has been taken from us in the past year. 

People told me that I should just be thankful. My home and children are ok.  Mike is ok.  Nobody was hurt. 

After awhile I realized that all of that was complete bull shit.  I realized that until this happens to all the people that were telling me this, they will never understand how you feel, how you are changed.  I pray to God that nobody does understand. 

I am grateful that my husband, children and home are ok.  We were blessed in so many ways on that cold December morning.  That doesn't change the fact that we lost things that were still important to us.  Things we can't get back.  Things that were a part of us and pieces of our life, despite being just "things"

Wedding pictures that I put in temporary storage when I put up the Christmas decorations.
A norwegian wooden bowl that was a wedding gift also in storage while the Christmas decor was up in the house.
The Christmas Village that my Grandma left to me when she passed away. (that wasn't put up this year for fear that I would spend my days keeping Cameron's little hands away from it.)
The baby cradle that was a family heirloom, that both Madison and Cameron slept in.
The bamboo windchime that we bought on our honeymoon in Hawaii.
The cakes in the freezer that I made for Kendall and Sydney.
Madison's new bike.
The kid's life jackets.
Mike's pinewood derby cars.
My bike. (that should would be nice to have right now with these gas prices!)

I could go on and on.  The list is endless.  I'm sure we have forgotten a lot of things too.  We'll never remember all of it. 

At some point along this journey I realized that I shouldn't feel guilty for being sad, angry and scared after all of this.  I don't need to "just think positive."  I actually came across something about Buddhism in all of this. Now, I don't claim to know ANYTHING about Buddhism and while I'm a faithful Christian, I think we can learn a lot from other religions too. Apparently Buddha teaches that it is ok to grieve losses - it doesn't matter that you should feel grateful for everything else - it's still a loss and if you don't allow yourself to feel the loss, the negative energy will never leave. Covering it up with "positive thinking" only traps it.

That made a lot of sense to me - So many other things also focus on energy and the pathways out of our body - like acupuncture. I have to believe that energy and the channels it uses are a part of us and a part of the world around us. So I have just let myself feel sad, angry, scared…and you know what? It DOES get easier and eventually you start to feel better. It might take a few days, a week, or longer.  It will happen! Some days now I feel fine and I worry less about the dryer or the crockpot burning my house down - other days I'm afraid to plug anything in because of this new fear that I have. The faintest smell of smoke is enough to send me on a hunt for something that is burning. I am just allowing myself to feel that fear and as time goes on you notice it less and less.

So. This is a really long drawn out way of saying that things are getting easier.  Each day presents a new challenge.  Some big, some small.  The small challenges seem to be the ones that knock us down right now.  Like converting our jacuzzi tub to a temporary tool chest for the few tools that we have accumulated.  (Gee, a nice warm bath sure would be nice...)  The simple bumps in the road, like an unexpected flat tire, make you feel like you just keep getting kicked when you're down.  I imagine that eventually those things won't affect so much and life will get back to "normal."

Mike's New-New truck

As you might recall, the cause of our fire was something in our new truck.  We hope to know what exactly it was in the next few weeks. 

The old-new truck was a 2010 Ford F-150 in a gorgeous metallic candy apple red.  We didn't share our new purchase with the world because it just didn't feel right during a time when so many people are struggling. 

We bought the truck two days before the hailstorm hit our camper last summer and we have only one picture of it!

Mike wanted this truck for a long  time.  He was really enjoying it and we were all glad that we had decided to buy it.

Who would have ever thought that a brand new truck would start your garage on fire? 

After the fire, Mike knew he wanted another truck but he wasn't sure if he wanted another Ford. Especially when the day after our fire Ford recalled 2011 F-150's for...wait for it....fires. 

After looking around he knew that he it had to be another Ford.  He just didn't like the other trucks as much.  So, we bought a brand new 2011 F-150.  There are a few changes on this one from the 2010 that Mike really likes - and he loves having Sync and Sirous Satellite Radio built right in!

So far, Mike actually likes the new-new truck better than the old-new truck.  They made some improvements with the 2011 that weren't on the 2010 and he is very pleased with it!

My New Car!

Sadly - my Explorer did not survive the fire.  I'm STILL bummed about that!  I planned to drive that thing until the doors fell off.  They burned off, does that count? 

For weeks I have wondered why I was so bummed about losing that Explorer.  I mean, it was JUST a vehicle.  A mode of transportation.  A tool.  A gas guzzler.  But I think I've figured out why I am so sad about the loss.  Our cars don't define us - but what we do with them does. 

1.  It was paid for. 'nuff said!
2.  It was the first new vehicle that Mike and I bought together.

3.  We brought both of our babies home from the hospital in that Explorer.

4.  We spent a stormy night of camping in it with Chad and Jodi.  We played cards in the back and we still laugh about that night.
5.  It has taken on us on many adventures - from biking to hiking to boating.
6.  It still looked new despite being a 2004 our despite our bad luck!

7.  There are a few funny stories too - like the time I threw it into park, turned it off and ran into daycare  with the keys still in it.  Turns out, it wasn't quite in park and rolled out of the driveway an in to a parked car!  In my defense, there was a malfunction in the steering column that made me think it was in park when it really wasn't! 

8.  Or the time Mike was backing up a really small trailer.  The trailer jackknifed, but he couldn't see it to know it had until he crunched in the rear quarter panel!
9.  Or the not so fun time - when golf ball and baseball sized hail hit Rochester about two and a half years ago.  Madison and I sat in the Explorer along Highway 14 and cried as our beloved truck was pelted with the hail.  We were afraid the windows would break, but the glass held and we were safe.
10.  Mike called it the Canyonero.  *Simpson's fans will get this one!

So - it almost feels like this is closing one chapter on our life and starting another when we weren't quite ready to say goodbye. We made a lot of memories with that SUV and I will be very sad on the day they pull it out of our burned out garage and haul it away.  You can bet I will be there to bid it a final goodbye.

But, like Kid Rock says, you have to Roll On, Roll On Roller coaster.  So, we had to move on to new things!  I really did not want another car - its tough going back after driving an SUV!  The threat of $5 per gallon gas forced me to be a little more fuel conscious with my car purchase.  I give you: 

The 2010 Ford Fusion SE in Sterling Gray.  It's not brand new, but almost!

What I like:
1. The gas mileage!  On my first trip to the cabin we got 30 MPG!
2.  The pretty blue dash lights.  Seriously mesmerizing.
3.  The V6 - It's a pretty fun to drive family sedan.  I bet I would get better gas mileage if I didn't enjoy that V6 quite so much.
4.  The Color. 
5.  I no longer need a telescoping snow brush to clean off the windshield.
6.  It's still pretty much paid for - or at least it will be once all the insurance stuff gets settled in the next few months. 

I'm not crazy about the fact that it does not have automatic lights or a thermometer -- but I'm getting used to that!  So far I really do like the car and we have not noticed the lack of a large place in back to haul stuff. 

Dec. 29, 2010 continued

Much of the rest of the day of the fire was a blur.


When you see a part of your home burning, the first thing that goes through your mind is “What stupid thing did we do???” You blame yourself and wonder what you left on or plugged in that you shouldn’t have. I immediately thought of the simple light switch timers that we had installed the week before. We put two of them in, one for each of the block heaters on our trucks. The heaters help the vehicle start better in the cold and they warm up faster but they only need to be on for a few hours before you start the car. So, we put the timers in to save money on electricity. The “manual” for the timers was still sitting on my kitchen counter on the morning of the fire. I immediately started to beat myself up for the choice of those timers. Why did we put those in? To save a few bucks? Look what it saved us, I thought!

By the time the fire was out, I could see that our new neighbors shed had partially burned. The siding was gone and some of the roof was scorched. The neighbor behind us lost his siding too. It is just a melted mess.  The fire marshal told me they call vinyl siding “plastic gasoline for fires.” It melts and just adds fuel to them.

We each had to give separate statements to the police. They told us the arson investigator was on his way.

WHAT? ARSON?

When you hear that, you again beat yourself up. Arson? Do they think we started the fire? Why would we? Did we do something to make them think this is arson? You immediately feel guilt even though you know you didn’t do anything

The first question the police officer asked me was “Does anybody not like you?”

Now, I consider myself a pretty likeable person but I am quite certain I have ticked off my fair share of people in my time. Have I ticked them off enough to burn down my garage? I don’t think so. I sure hope not.

We were both asked a lot of questions about what was plugged in, where things were in the garage. We both told them to the best of our recollection.

The fire investigators spent a lot of time looking around in the garage and at our electrical box in the house and they quickly zeroed in on Mike’s brand new Ford F-150 pickup truck. We have had the truck for about 6 months and it only had about 6,000 miles on it. It still had the new car smell. It was a pretty truck.

Before long we saw them cover the engine compartments of both trucks with big blue tarps. The investigator came in side.

I was nervous, remember, I had just heard the word "arson" in the minutes before.  He told us that it looked like the fire originated in the engine compartment of Mike’s truck and that experts from our insurance company and Ford will have to look at it. He told us to stay out of the garage because the structure was not safe and the one remaining wall could fall down.

Then he said “there is nothing in there that you can save, it is all gone.”

I started to cry.

Then he said “this is all just stuff, you can replace it. Rest assured, you did nothing wrong and you did not cause this in any way, arson is also no longer a concern.”

I started to cry more. Finally, someone was telling us that this wasn’t our fault. That it just happened and was going to happen regardless of the precautions we took or how careful we were. We didn’t do anything wrong. I suppose my tears were much like a sigh of relief.

After the investigators left, there was a steady stream of visitors. Mike’s Grandma heard about the fire and came by. She brought donuts. There is something about food that just makes you feel better! Mike’s parents were there a couple of times. The last time was to drop of a van for us to drive until we bought new cars. Mike’s boss. Our insurance agent. The claims rep. More TV stations. The phone rang constantly. My Mom and Dad. Jodi. The claims rep for the cars. I cried with each familiar voice that I heard. 

The kids were scheduled to be in the backup daycare that day. They love backup daycare. I couldn’t get them there because we didn’t have car seats for the borrowed van.

In the few quiet moments of the day, we couldn’t do much. I am a roll-up-your-sleeves kind of girl and I couldn’t touch a thing. If it were up to me, there would have been a flatbed there that day to take away the burned out trucks. A roll-off would have been there and that garage would have been coming down. We couldn’t do much more than sit at the kitchen table and stare at the mess. And stare at it was exactly what we did. We are still staring at it.

December 29, 2010

So, the blog has been quiet for awhile.
I had plans to blog about our Christmas celebrations, New Year’s Celebrations and resolutions. Instead, right between Christmas and New Year’s our world was rocked and we have been in recovery mode ever since.

If you don’t follow me on Facebook or in real life – this will be new news. For the rest of you, my posts over the next few weeks will be an account of what exactly happened four weeks ago and where we are now.

Wednesday December 29, 2010

5:00 am My alarm went off but I was too tired to work out. Reset for 6:00.
5:18 am Windsor jumped up on the bed and needed to go out
5:19 am Hanging out on the deck while Windsor pee’s. I noticed that it was really cold and that Madison had left toys in the yard the night before. I thought to myself “we have more snow coming, Madison better get those picked up tonight.”
5:20 am Back to bed
5:25 am Windsor had to go out again **GROAN** I should have just got up and got on the dang treadmill!
5:27 am Back to bed
5:27-5:40 Windsor is wildly chewing on a bone and keeping me awake. Seriously! I just wanted another hour of sleep!
5:40 am Take Windsor to his kennel and lock him up, without his bone. Look out the patio door again, everything seems just fine.

Quite honestly, the only unusual thing about this morning is that Windsor had to go out at 5:18 and again just a few minutes later. He can normally make it to 6:30 or 7:00 before he needs to go out at all. Aside from this, he did not act strange or alert us in any way that something was wrong. I’m not sure if this makes him a stupid dog or if things just happened that quickly!

6:12 am Rollover and groan – I really MUST get up for work! Just a few more minutes…

6:12 plus a few more seconds: Frantic pounding on our front door.

Mike bolts out of bed and shouts “Someone is trying to get in the house!”

We run to the living room and look out the window. There is a woman on the sidewalk on a cell phone. She is jumping up and down and waving to us through the window. There are two more people on our front step and still pounding on the door.

Mike shouts “Just a minute!” as he starts down the stairs to the door. I throw a bathrobe at him. I’m pretty sure he had his oldest and most holey boxers on.

Mike opens the door to a bald guy with a long goatee. He looked like he just stepped out of a biker bar.

“Dude,” he says. “Your garage is on fire! We have already called the fire department.”

“WHAT???” We both say.

He says it again. “Your garage is on fire.”

I run to the patio and see thick black smoke billowing out of creases in the garage door.

My exact words were “Holy Shit, he’s right!”

I fumbled around for my cell phone (not really sure why!), grabbed a sweatshirt and threw on boots and was outside within a minute’s time. By the time I got out there, the entire garage was completely engulfed in flames.

I remember saying “what is taking so long, why aren’t they here yet???”

I could hear sirens.

I knew that we couldn’t save anything and that it was too risky to even try. I just stood there in the driveway watching it burn.

A lady that lives on the street behind us flagged the police and fire trucks down our street. She offered me a warm place to stay if we needed it.

The firemen arrive and run hoses from a tanker truck and get them on the garage. Three more trucks arrive and I point a fireman in the direction of the nearest fire hydrant. Thank Goodness our new neighbor had plowed the snow away from it!

My neighbor, Jess, from across the street put on her coat and stood with me while we watched it burn. I didn’t know what to say to her. I asked her if she had a booster seat we could borrow for Madison, since our’s was burning. I’m not sure what car I thought I was going to put it in.

A fireman asked me if there were vehicles in the garage. I say “Yes, an SUV and a full sized truck and both have full gas tanks!”

I remember thinking “Crap, that’s like 60 gallons of gas in those trucks at $3.00 a gallon!”

The fire fighters quickly realized that they could not save the garage. They quickly moved into protection mode – they started getting water on our next door neighbor’s shed and on the house that is behind us. A firefighter asked for a shovel to clear snow from a fence gate so he could get stuff out of the neighbor’s shed before it burned. I laughed and told him the shovel was in the garage.

I notice a nicely dressed man on the sidewalk taking a flip video. Probably the press, I thought. Sure enough, video and copy were on the Rochester Post Bulletin’s website before the fire was even put out. The local news station, KTTC, arrived and started taking video as well.

At some point, after standing outside for a long time in my jammies and sweatshirt, I realized I was cold. I ran in to get a coat and my camera. I took pictures of the garage as it burned.

Some of them would be cool if it weren’t our garage. Our trucks. Our belongings. Our sense of security.

We called family. Mike’s parents came over and were there to watch it burn too. Mike mostly stayed inside. The firemen told him to get the kids ready to evacuate the house, in case the fire spread. I looked up and saw Madison in the driveway, watching the garage burn. I didn’t know how she got out there. I didn’t want her to see it. Cameron was more interested in the fire trucks and never saw the fire.

The firemen realized the roof was going to collapse and had to retreat for a bit. At one point I saw them use a long tool to pull the garage door down. The blackened garage door is still sitting in the snow in our backyard.

My Mom and Dad felt helpless all the way in Cushing. They didn’t know if they should come down or what.

I texted Jodi and said “the day isn’t starting out too great, our garage is burning down.”

Jodi called and was in disbelief. I cried as I told her it was true.

Through the closed patio door in the dining room, you could feel the intense heat of the fire, even as the flames were subsiding. We are shocked that the siding on the back of the house didn’t melt.

It took about an hour to get the fire put out. Mike’s truck burned for hours afterwards. The firemen had to stay and keep water on it until it burned itself out. KTTC interviewed one of the firemen. They totally staged the placement of the trucks for the interview. I remember thinking that was really funny.

To be continued.....

Christmas Letter

2010 has been another amazing year!  The kids and I took a mid-winter trip to the cabin on Fish Trap Lake.  The kids were so amazed to walk on the frozen lake!  Madison and I enjoyed some time to build a snow fisherman and Madison enjoyed breakfast on the patio with her Grandpa!

2010 also brough the addition of Windsor to our family.  We adopted our sweet dog from small dog rescue of MN, although they warned us that they thought he had lab in him and would be more like a 60 lb dog.  That proved not to be the case as Windsor is only about 35 pounds and does not stand knee high!  He has short stubby legs, some wirey hair, and a tail that wags constantly!  Cameron seems to be the dog lover in the family and loves to cuddle with Windsor.  After a few ups and downs (house training, endless shedding, etc!), Windsor is an important part of our family and we would be lost without him. 

The summer brought lots of trips to the camper in Richmond, MN.  We added a deck this year and spent a lot of time getting the campsite just right only to have it taken out by softball sized hail.  It was devastating!  Thankfully, the insurance company totalled out the camper and then let us keep it without requiring a salvage payment!  We patched it up and are hoping that the roof holds through the winter.  The kids love the time at the camper - we spend most of our time on the boat.  They both became quite skilled at swimming in the middle of the lake and tubing behind the boat!  Madison caught one of the largest fish in a kid's fishing contest and learned to ride her bike without training wheels!  We also enjoy morning walks through the campground, the meat raffle in the bar, and nightly campfires.

Cameron has developed quite a vocabulary and is talking constantly.  He has become quite the little parrot!  He enjoys building with blocks, coloring, and playing with Playdoh.  He also likes to play with cars and look at books.

Madison is getting ready for kindergarten.  We recently toured Byron Elementary school and assuming we can work out transportation concerns, she will be attending Byron schools.  She is very excited for kindergarten and has been diligently working on her reading.  She is currently undergoing treatment for a lazy eye.  We were very shocked with the diagnosis, as we did not notice any outward physical signs of her condition.  The wonderful people doing her pre-k screening caught a small issue with her right eye and recommended that we see an eye doctor.  We are very lucky that we caught it this early!  We are hoping that glasses do the trick, but we will be learning more about patching her good eye in January. 

Mike is still working for Heartman Insurance as a systems administrator.  It is a job that he enjoys and continues to challenge him.  He also stays busy at night and on weekends with many of his old customers from his days at Venture.  He is still an avid Packers fan and says the Packer vs. Vikings game at Lambeau Field in October was the most fun he has ever had at Lambeau Field.  I agree as we had an absolute blast at that game! 

I am still with Mayo Clinic, working in research finance.  Over the summer I moved latteraly from my fiscal invoicing position to a compliance position.  This has allowed me to learn more about government research grants and keeps me busier!  I am still pursuing my MBA and will finish up my last two classes in early 2011.  I still love to scrapbook whenever I can find the time and recently spent a weekend at the Fish Trap Lake cabin scrapbooking with my Mom, aunt and cousins.

The end of 2010 brought the first ever Tigue Family Christmas Trip to Wisconsin Dells.  We just returned from a weekend at Kalahari, enjoying the tropical waterpark!  All of us enjoyed every minute of it!  It was a great way to spend time with the family and I hope we continue to make the trip for future Christmas celebrations!

We have some big events coming up in 2011 that we are looking forward to.  Mike and I will be taking a Caribbean cruise with our dear friends, the Dobbelaeres, in March.  We will be celebrating our ten year anniversary and the completion of my MBA program.  Before we know it, we will be opening up the camper and getting ready for another summer on the lake! 

2010 has brought many blessings for which we are grateful.  We pray that all of our friends and family are blessed as well as we look forward to all that 2011 has to offer. 

Happy Birthday Cameron!

Today, Cameron turns two.  I cannot believe how quickly time is flying - my babies are growing up too fast!

Some things about Cameron -
1.  He LOVES Elmo.  Which is why he is getting an Elmo birthday cake!
2.  He recently fell in love with Toy Story 3 - its one of the few movies he will sit still for!
3.  Cameron is a big football fan!  He sleeps with a packer football and says "Go Ack Go!"
4.  Cameron is talking up a storm lately!  He is saying just about everything now and even starting to string a few words together.  He even FINALLY said his sister's name this past weekend. 
5.  His favorite word these days is NO!  (Gee, I wonder where he heard that one???)
6.  He loves to sit at the table and play with blocks.
7.  He loves to color and play with playdoh too!
8.  He is very close to his sister.  They fight like siblings do, but he is very quick to come to her aid or look for her comfort when he is scared.  I'm quite certain that Madison feels the same way!
9.  Cameron learned to climb out of his crib about a month ago - and bedtime is a two hour ordeal.  He often falls asleep at his bedroom door because he can't always get it open when he gets out of bed.  He has been smacked in the head by that door numerous times!  He also plans ahead when he makes his great escape from his crib.  I usually find him crashed on the floor, with his pillow, stuffed animals and blankets. 
10.  Cameron will move in to his own room SOON!  It's been a work in progress for a few months and I hope to finish it up after Christmas.
11.  Cameron is learning his colors - but all colors are blue in his world. 
12.  He gives the best hugs and kisses -and his I yuv you will melt your heart! 

Happy Birthday Sweet Cameron!  Mommy and Daddy love you to the moon and back! 

Milestones

It has been a week of milestones in our house.  Actually, most of them occurred on Monday. 

Milestone 1.  Madison got glasses!  There is a little story behind them - at her pre-k screening last spring, they noticed a small problem with her right eye.  I honestly thought she was just bored and being stubborn - but at her 5 year well child visit, I asked them to check and we definetely noticed a problem.  It turns out she has something pretty similar to lazy eye, without the noticable wandering eye.  It was a very lucky catch!  Madison now has bright pink glasses with bling on the sides - so typical of her style!  They are very cute on her and definetely highlight her sweetness. 



2.  Madison is ready to graduate to a booster seat!  She has been trying to gain two pounds since the beginning of summer - to no avail.  She started the summer weighing 38 pounds and even weighed in at 38 pounds two weeks ago at the doctor.  She thought it was hopeless!  She even started pointing out kids that weigh less that get to ride in booster seats.  (I'm the meanest mom on the planet!)  Just after getting her new glasses, Madison decided to jump on the scale and it said 41 pounds!  A three pound gain!  So, we agreed that if she stil weighs 40 or more pounds this weekend, we will switch her from a carseat to a booster seat.  She responded to our agreement by saying "I'm going to need a bedtime snack every night to keep my weight up!"  STINKER. 

Now, she is OBSESSED with the scale!  She is constantly checking to make sure she is still over 40 lbs.

3.  Cameron has learned to escape his crib.  He decided to show us his new trick over and over again on Monday night.  He is extremely proud of himself.  Me - well, not so much!  We have been preparing because we knew it was coming.  We had bought a bed, but not a matress or bedding.  We have been getting his new room ready for his transition to a big boy bed.  I just didn't think it would happen before he turned two! 

It has gotten better since Monday night - he is escaping less.  Tuesday he got out 3-4 times and tonight he didn't try to climb out at all.  I'm knocking on all the wood that I can find as I type this!!  I am not quite ready to no longer have any babies in a crib, so I'm hoping to prolong it just a little bit longer. 

Indeed, it has been a week of milestones - little steps in this great big life. 

Look who is FIVE!

It's almost a month overdue, but I thought I'd share my thoughts on Madison at five years old.

1.  Madison does things when she is darn good and ready to - and she does it on her own.  For instance, we tried for over a year to potty train her without success.  So we gave up.  Then when she turned three, she decided she was done with diapers.  All summer, we tried to teach her to ride a bike, but she didn't want to.  Then she decided one day that she was ready - and she went and learned without us even knowing!  She also recently learned to tie her shoelaces.  I had tried to teach her without success and one day she asked me to show her.  I showed her one time and then she practiced and practiced until she got it. 

2.  Madison is learning how to pray.  I often pray with her - I pray and she repeats it.  I have tried to get her to pray what is in her heart, but she never wanted to.  Last night she told me that she wanted to say a prayer and that I should repeat after her.  She had me repeat one word at a time:
We.
Pray.
To.
Jeez.
Is.
I laughed so hard, I couldn't repeat her prayer.  It was almost as good as the Glee Grilled Cheesuz. 

3.  Madison loves to sing and dance.  She is watching the CMA's with me and pretending to be Taylor Swift.  Taylor doesn't hold a candle to my Madison.

4.  Madison is learning how to read.  She amazes me with her ability to absorb information.  She is one sharp little cookie.  Look out Kindergarten!!!

5.  I love Miss Madison's smile.  It lights up a room - and melts my heart.  Every.Single.Time.

Amazing weekend!

While at the camper this weekend, Jodi and I decided to take the kids to Collegeville Orchards. It's a small orchard/pumpkin patch in a small town not far from the camper. We visited the same orchard last fall as well.

The kids we able to pet sheep, alpacas, goats and horses. Madison and Sydney had a blast feeding the sheep! They also checked out the apple trees and posed for some pictures. The highlight, as always, was picking out and cutting their own pumpkins again this year! Madison and Cameron both found the perfect pumpkin!

We say the trip to the Orchard is for the kids, but really, its a trip for us Mamaratzi to pull out our cameras and get some great fall pictures.

The drive to the Orchard was nothing short of amazing. At one point, you drive down a deserted dirt road, in the thick of the Minnesota forest. The trees are all around you, displaying God's magnificent color pallet. It is silent except for the crunch of your tires and the chirp of the birds as they prepare to migrate. Leaves softly fall to the ground all around you. It reminded me that soon the snow will be falling in the same way. I wanted to stop and take a picture or at the very least, just sit there enjoying the peace.

But the tranquility is quickly shattered by little voices in the back seat saying "Are we there yet" and "how many pumpkins can I pick out, Mamma?"

It comes to an end...

Well, the 30 day blog-a-thon end winding down. Counting today, I have blogged on 24 out of 30 days. Not bad. I'll take it!

What I have learned:

1. I blog purely to share the funny things my kids do and say with my friends and family. I am not blogging to make money, generate a lot of hits, or for any other type of gain.

2. I often get trapped by feeling like I need to include a picture in every blogpost. This thinking tends to limit my blogging. I've learned I do not need to always include a picture, but they are nice!

3. I will not likely jump at any opportunity to attend one of the many blogger conferences - my time is precious and its just not something I want to devote a lot of time to.

4. I have a lot of stories that I do want to tell through the blog. I brianstormed a list of things to write about and after a month of consistent blogging, there are still a lot of stories left on that list.

5. Blogging is a great way to share stories, but also to reconnect with friends. My blog is a place to share triumphs, joys and even some failures. Why failures? Well, someone out there is finding a way to make it work and if we all share what makes it work - we might learn something!

6. I am still searching for that magic pill to do it all - be a good Child of God, Mom, Wife, daughter, sister, granddaughter, employee, housekeeper, chef, blogger and artist. If anyone finds it - please let me know!

My Crafty Shortcomings

Sorry. Life has gotten in the way of keeping up with the blog challenge! I’m only about 5 days behind. Maybe there is still some hope for catching up?

I was inspired today by another blogger participating in the 30 day blogging challenge, The Vosberg View. Jill talks about how she feels like a failure as a mother because she is not crafty (and has little desire to be) then goes on to discuss how she overcame that by inventing a fun and definitely crafty scavenger hunt for her and her son. (BTW, would LOVE to see pictures of the finished product!) As I read the post, I was forced to think about my own craftiness and my shortcomings in that regard.

I’m quite the opposite of Jill. I am quite crafty and I want to be crafty. In fact, others might even say I’m talented in that regard. I love to put colors and textures together. I love to create whether it be with my hands and scrapbook paper, or with images on my computer, or even with fabric (MHS quilt club, anyone???). I have a laundry room of shelves that is chock full of scrapbooking supplies (my true crafty passion), a hard drive full of photos and journals full of page layout ideas, sketches, and journaling. I love to make gifts for my friends and family because homemade gifts truly come from the heart. I get my creative side from my Mom, without a doubt.

I can wander for hours through Archiver’s, Joanne Fabrics, and Hobby Lobby. Hobby Lobby is my favorite for their amazing prices and for the endless inspiration that I find in their stores! Then there are the local scrapbook stores here in the Med City – again, I could fill up my cart and empty my pocket book in a hurry. Michaels – not so much. I just do not find that store inspiring. Sorry fans of Michael’s – I am spoiled by Hobby Lobby!

So, how am I a failure in my craftiness?

I rarely make time to celebrate and honor my craftiness. My scrapbooks are not even close to current. The pictures frames on the walls at home – do not contain pictures of Cameron. I just haven’t gotten around to it. I MUST get on that soon before he recognizes this and ends up on a shrink’s couch with a complex caused by this. He is nearly two and will begin to notice this shortcoming VERY soon! I have piles of half completed projects on my craft desk. I have endless lists of craft related things I want to do. I rarely find time to plan and do creative projects with Madison and Cameron (although Madison loves to do “praw-jects!”!).  I feel my spirit being pulled towards all things creative and then I feel let down because I simply cannot find the time. Sadly, that let-down can sometimes border on resentment.

There are noses to wipe, diapers to change, boo-boo’s to kiss, laundry to fold, dishes to wash, floors to scrub, dogs to feed and bathe, husband to spend time with, bills to pay, and investments to make. There are a million things that seem to require my attention more than my need to create.

And I can feel something missing in my soul as a result.

After a weekend of crafting, or even an evening of it, I always feel so much better. It is like the feeling of peace that you get after leaving Worship at Church. Like my soul has been filled and my spirit renewed.

So, my blogging friends, I ask all of you; how do you find the time to do the things that renew your spirit? Which of the spinning plates do you let fall to do those things, whether it be craftiness, spending time with those that you love, or pursuing other things that you enjoy?

What gives?

Since last January, I have been in the habit of getting up at 5am for a good walk/run on the treadmill. 

I have often professed my love for watching Netflix instant download movies on my laptop while on the treadmill.  Lord knows, its hard to stay on those things without a distraction!

Once spring came around and the sun was up at 5am, I abondoned the treadmill for an outdoor run/walk  with the dog.  I loved it.

As the summer wore on, however, I was tired.  Too tired for the 5am workouts.  I abandoned the workouts in favor of an extra hour of sleep and tried to walk the dog at least a couple times each week.  Some weeks, I succeeded.  Some weeks, I failed.

Now that summer is winding down and I have a winter cruise to look forward to, I vowed to get back to the 5am workouts at least 3 times this week.  Monday and Tuesday, I wasn't so successful.  The snooze alarm was my friend. 

Today was different.  Today, I got up, got my workout clothes on, grabbed my laptop and ran to the office and my treadmill.  As soon as I closed the door, Cameron started crying.  I waited a minute or two hoping that he would stop.  No luck.  I went to his room and tried to comfort him.  No luck. 

This kid was up for the day.  There was no turning back.  And no 5am workout for me. 

Crap.

Out of the mouths of Babes

In a recent conversation with Madison:

Madison: Mommy, you need to buy me some new dress up dresses. 
Mommy: you have like 6 dress up dresses, why do you need more?
Madison: They are all too big and they become BOOB DRESSES.  Really, Mommy, they do.
Mommy (a bit shocked): What exactly is a boob dress?

Bible Milestone Event

When Madison was baptized, we made a promise before God, our family, and our church family that we would place the Word of God in Madison's hands. 

On Sunday, we were able to do just that!  You might wonder why we have waited until Madison was nearly 5 to give her her first Bible.  Well, we waited because our wonderful Church, Bethel Lutheran, gives children a special Bible Bag in their first year of Sunday School and a beginner Bible when they enter their second year of Sunday School. They also receive an Adventure Bible when they enter 3rd grade and a Bible when they enter confirmation class. 

Madison made her first Bible Milestone event this year and received her Bible yesterday in a special service.  Up until this time, we have read stories from my Children's Bible that was given to me by my Grandparents.  She has always enjoyed the stories, but they are longer and more in depth than the stories in her new Beginner's Bible.  This new Bible is perfect for her!

She was asking and asking about when she would get her Bible in church for the two weeks leading up to the service!  She was definitely excited about it.  As a part of the service, we also got to take part in the music time that Madison experiences during Sunday School.  (At our Church, Madison is in class while we attend worship, so we never get to see what her music time is like.)  She was excited to sing her songs with us and the songs are definitely more fun than I remember singing in my own Sunday School class!

We are truly blessed to have a Church home that is so focused on helping us fulfill our baptism promises and that makes it so much fun for the kids to accept God into their hearts!

The right shoes

Will complete any outfit!

Chicken Wings

Last night at dinner Madison was telling me about fall. 

Madison: Mommy, its fall and if you go outside without long sleeves on, you get chicken things on your arms!

Mommy: Chicken things?  Like feathers?

Madison: No, chicken things.

Mommy: You mean chicken wings? How would your arms turn in to chicken wings?

Madison: Mommy, chicken things!  They are bumps that you get on your arms whwn you are cold!

Mommy:  Oh - that kind of chicken thing.  Do you mean goose bumps?

Madison: Oh yea!  You get goose bumps!